Things he says

I don't understand why he gets so mad all the time. I ask him to repeat what he said while I was in the bathroom because I didn't hear him. What he said was meant to be mean and hurt me and he wouldn't repeat himself so I kept repeating myself over and over asking him what he said. Finally he said why don't you just stay in Oregon or something along those lines. I don't understand why he has to say that to me. I feel like he wants a divorce but doesn't want to do it because he knows it will hurt me. I don't know what I'm going to do because I can't stay unhappy for the rest of my life but I don't want to leave someone that I love so dearly. I know that god wouldn't put us through something we couldn't get through but how much longer is he going to put me through hurt. At times I find myself wanting to pack up all of my things while he is at work and just leave him. It hurts me to even think those things because that is not what I want. I just don't get why he treats me the way he does. If he doesn't want to be with me then why doesn't he just leave.